


I’ll return to my beautiful city but some nights I dream of you.

by youngjusticewriter



Series: Tumblr requests. [12]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amon needs answer because his life was just flipped on its head, Canon-Typical Violence, I’ll tag more characters later, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise Needs a Hug, M/M, Past Child Abuse, and author had given up on being reasonable on how many wips she has, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 21:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19411561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: The screen of his phone lights up and with a trembling finger Kaneki types in one-one-nine. There’s a person in his ear speaking about stating the emergency. (I’m a ghoul, the abuser, even though I’ve always tried to be one the hurt then to hurt others and I’m worse then them don’t you see? There’s a man bleeding out below me.)It’s a woman speaking to him. “Sir, please I need you calm your breath.”“I-I hurt someone.” The words hurt to get out of throat (his mouth still tastes of metal, of the man’s blood) but Kaneki says them because the man doesn’t get to die on him.





	I’ll return to my beautiful city but some nights I dream of you.

**Author's Note:**

> 17.) “You don’t get to die, you hear me?”

There’s blood everywhere. It’s blossoming on the investigator’s shoulder, it - the delicious taste of metal - is lingering in Kaneki’s mouth making the hunger in his stomach gnaw, there has to be some on his zipper of his mask and maybe it has dripped on the black leather too, and it’s in the air too. The smell of coins, of metal, of blood, is clogging the air and it smells as tempting as walking into Big Burger use to be to him before he became a ghoul (because going there - eating anywhere - terrifies Kaneki because Hide - Hide who was always so smart, Hide who had such knowing eyes even when they were kids, Hide who would offer to sneak Kaneki into his house because he knew but never said it out loud and he’ll know, he always knew, and Hide will have to say something now because lives are in the balance - or some stranger is going to notice that he isn’t eating a-and he’s going to be killed for it). 

“Are you crazy?” The man screams, his breath heavy as though he had just ran a race, and Kaneki wants to shut his eyes but he knows from experience that closing your eyes and wishing for another reality, a kinder one where his mother never died and he never had to live with his aunt, one where she didn’t -

Wishing for another reality doesn’t change this reality where blood makes Kaneki salivate in hunger. 

“I will never turn my back on a ghoul,” the dove continues, swearing with righteousness heavy in his voice like he was protagonist of of Kaneki’s books or Hide’s manga. Kaneki wants him to be the protagonist like unto one of his best friend’s many mangas because they get to live happy in the end and in Kaneki’s books the protagonist often ended unhappy if not dead. 

You’ll die, Kaneki knows and his chest hurts in not just hunger at the realization as the man’s shaking legs threaten to betray him. The bite had been too deep. (Did you really think starving yourself would end you or anyone else in a good spot? You were so stupid and now you’ll going to be a murderer. You’ll be worse than them.) 

“Please,” Kaneki begins to beg (to which one of them he did not know) and he feels like he was once again a selfish child. (When did saying please stop the harsh beating? Why do you think a simple please will make death stay away from this man?) “...Don’t make me a murder.“ 

But it’s too late. The dove’s legs collapse under him and a groan spills from the man’s lips as he falls onto the cement. It would be so easy to walk over and finish the job; it - a just a bite or two more - would be merciful compared to slowly bleeding out. 

Kaneki’s feet are moving forward without his consent and he’s knees crashing onto the ground follow next. It’s heady, the copper smell that his bite mark left. His fingers are shaking, they’re trembling, they’re quivering, but it’s not the larger man’s body he touches. 

No, he’s pulling off his hoodie or least that’s what he’s trying to do. It takes longer then it should and the man’s dark eyes are squinted up at him like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. (He’s dying right in front of him and Kaneki can’t hurry up. He’s so busy shaking like a leaf - in fear or in hunger he doesn’t know - that he can’t even pull off his hoodie.) 

It’s off him finally and Kaneki presses it into the part of the man’s shoulder and neck where he had bit him. Kaneki presses as tight as fingers dig into his skin and it’s going to leave a purple bruise is going to be blossom. 

No. 

He’s not a kid. 

Kaneki wasn’t a victim. He was the perpetrator, the abuser. 

He was a ghoul and he will not ask, he will not beg, like he did as a child. 

He did this and he’ll clean his own mess.

(I’m sorry, Kaneki had cried into his mother’s lap after being selfish, after be punished for asking for more.) 

“You don’t get to die,” Kaneki chokes out the demand, “you hear me?”

Those dark eyes were narrowing even farther. Was he dying or did he want to see better? 

The man’s lips part but no words come out no matter how much he tries and he’s trying. There’s only noises of pain that are voiced. 

Kaneki’s takes back one his hands (it’s his right, he realizes a few seconds later) from the hoodie he has pressed into the bitemark to shove in his pocket to find his phone- 

“Shit,” Kaneki curses at the realization that’s befallen on him because he’s so stupid. How did he not notice? “I’m sorry,” he apologizes and if it’s for for taking the hoodie out of curve of the man’s neck or for cussing in front of a dying man who was only dying because of him and that deserved an apology more than cussing...well he’s not sure. 

The blood is everywhere and it makes Kaneki’s hunger threaten to boil over but he digs his teeth into his chapped bottom lip and shakes his head over and over. Hopefully, his phone will work despite his hoodie being soaked. 

There’s more blood on his shaking hand than what Kaneki had took with his mouth. He gets the phone out of the pocket and it’s covered in blood, in liquid, and please, please just work. 

The screen of his phone lights up and with a trembling finger Kaneki types in one-one-nine. There’s a person in his ear speaking about stating the emergency. (I’m a ghoul, the abuser, even though I’ve always tried to be the one hurt then to hurt others and I’m worse then them don’t you see? There’s a man bleeding out below me.) 

It’s a woman speaking to him. “Sir, please I need you to calm your breath.” 

“I-I hurt someone.” The words hurt to get out of throat (his mouth still tastes of metal, of the man’s blood) but Kaneki says them because the man doesn’t get to die on him.


End file.
